Raising children is no mean feat, as any parent will tell you. It's a lifelong commitment, too, with dirty nappies and a lack of sleep representing just the start of the journey. However, when your child hits puberty, their raging hormones can make them surly and argumentative - it's just a part of growing up.
The key is, however, to manage this change in attitude constructively rather than getting bogged down in conflict. Studies show that kids who argue with their parents go on to make better citizens, so it's really just a phase that you need to get through the best you can.
Why Do Teens Argue With Their Parents So Much?
Children going through puberty are typically experiencing an enormous shift in their hormones, which can play havoc with their moods. This, combined with a greater need for autonomy, independence, and respect, can result in kids seeing their folks as the enemy. It calls for a considered approach and lashings of positive parenting.
How Do I Stop Arguing With My Teenager?
The need to find common ground is high when dealing with a moody teenager, as your skills of compromise and negotiation is put to the test. As an adult, your parenting plan should involve you trying to empathise and think back to what things were like for you at the same age.
Your child will not yet have developed the ability to see things with the same perspective that you do, so it’s able to look through their eyes. Also don’t be hard on yourself if things don’t go well, as arguments are very common and no one is perfect. Just be sincere in any apologies you have to make and move on.
If you can resolve disputes amicably, you’ll:
- Minimise stress levels in the household
- Create a strong bond with your child who’ll see you as someone who listens
- Engender mutual respect - important, as it’s what most teenagers want
- Instill the skills of compromise and negotiation in your child
As parenting courses teach, it’s also often best to diffuse the situation by waiting until you’ve both calmed down after an argument. This will allow you to think of the best way to get your point across without using inflammatory words that are much more likely in the heat of the moment.
Calmness Always Wins Out
There are a number of elements that need to be present in a discussion to keep things civil. The first one is calmness, as you can’t expect your child to be relaxed if you’re not. Another is respect, so you must avoid a condescending tone and disrespectful language, as well as an interruption.
Other things you must ensure include:
- Stay away from sentences that start with “You always…” and “You never…”
- Maintain good eye contact to show you care
- Be sincere and heartfelt in your words
- Avoid ultimatums, as it’s confrontational
- Allow plenty of time for a response
Most childcare courses teach compromise for a reason, as it's often key to finding a resolution. So, if you can give them exactly what they want, e.g. to dye their hair green, perhaps suggest that you'll let them have a new hairstyle, but not in garish colour. That way, you might find that a deal can be struck, as both sides feel like they got something they want.
This will do something else, too - it teaches your child the power of negotiation. We experience lots of situations in our lives where negotiation is needed, so it's an important skill to learn. If that learning happens to be during a family debate, then so be it. Ultimately though, it’s something that leaves your child feeling listened to and respected - which is half the battle won.
Boost Your Parenting Skills With OCA Online Education
There's no getting away from the fact that raising children is tough, so if things aren't going great right now with your teenager - don't worry, it's perfectly normal. Also, thanks to video-based online education from OCA, you can enhance your parenting abilities in your own time and at your own pace. What's more, all of our courses are CPD Accredited and can be paid for in manageable installments.
Forget about boring text-based courses, however, as what we offer is immersive and thought-provoking, with each module offering an experience that instills a passion for learning. For a better idea of what we mean, take a look at our Student Study Demo, which shows you what it's like for students who take courses like our Developing Effective Relationships with Children Certificate.
Visit us at www.onlinecoursesaustralia.edu.au, and you'll discover the many reasons why our students see ours as the best online courses around. 1-to-1 mentoring, 24/7 tutorial support, and extremely dynamic and intuitive course content are just a few of the factors that set us apart from our competitors.
However, if you'd prefer to speak with us directly about enrolment or anything else, call us at 1300 611 404 or email our team at email@example.com, and we’ll be happy to assist in any way we can.