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Raising children is no mean feat, as any parent will tell you. It's a lifelong commitment, too, with dirty nappies and a lack of sleep representing just the start of the journey. However, when your child hits puberty, their raging hormones can make them surly and argumentative - it's just a part of growing up. 

The key is, however, to manage this change in attitude constructively rather than getting bogged down in conflict. Studies show that kids who argue with their parents go on to make better citizens, so it's really just a phase that you need to get through the best you can.

Why Do Teens Argue With Their Parents So Much? 

Children going through puberty are typically experiencing an enormous shift in their hormones, which can play havoc with their moods. This, combined with a greater need for autonomy, independence, and respect, can result in kids seeing their folks as the enemy. It calls for a considered approach and lashings of positive parenting.

How Do I Stop Arguing With My Teenager? 

The need to find common ground is high when dealing with a moody teenager, as your compromise and negotiation skills are put to the test. As an adult, your parenting plan  should involve you trying to empathise and think back to what things were like for you at the same age.

Your child will not yet have developed the ability to see things with the same perspective you do, so it can look through their eyes. Also, don’t be hard on yourself if things don’t go well, as arguments are very common, and no one is perfect. Just be sincere in any apologies you have to make and move on.

If you can resolve disputes amicably, you’ll:

  • Minimise stress levels in the household
  • Create a strong bond with your child, who'll see you as someone who listens
  • Engender mutual respect - important, as it’s what most teenagers want
  • Instil the skills of compromise and negotiation in your child

As parenting courses  teach, it’s often best to diffuse the situation by waiting until you’ve calmed down after an argument. This will allow you to think of the best way to get your point across without using inflammatory words that are much more likely in the heat of the moment.

Having Calmness With You Kids Always Wins Out.

A number of elements need to be present in a discussion to keep things civil. The first one is calmness, as you can’t expect your child to be relaxed if you’re not. Another is respect, so you must avoid a condescending tone, disrespectful language, and interruption. 

Other things you must ensure include:

  • Stay away from sentences that start with “You always…” and “You never…”
  • Maintain good eye contact to show you care
  • Be sincere and heartfelt in your words
  • Avoid ultimatums, as it’s confrontational
  • Allow plenty of time for a response

Most childcare courses teach compromise for a reason, as it's often key to finding a resolution. So, if you can give them exactly what they want, e.g. to dye their hair green, perhaps suggest that you'll let them have a new hairstyle, but not in garish colour. That way, you might find that a deal can be struck, as both sides feel they got something they want.

This will do something else, too - it teaches your child the power of negotiation. We experience many situations where negotiation is needed, so it's an important skill to learn. If that learning happens to be during a family debate, then so be it. Ultimately though, it’s something that leaves your child feeling listened to and respected - which is half the battle won.

Boost Your Parenting Skills With OCA Online Education 

There's no getting away from the fact that raising children is tough, so if things aren't going great right now with your teenager - don't worry; it's perfectly normal. Also, thanks to video-based online education from OCA, you can enhance your parenting abilities at your own time and pace. What's more, all of our courses are CPD Endorsed and can be paid for in manageable instalments.

Forget about boring text-based courses, however, as what we offer is immersive and thought-provoking, with each module offering an experience that instils a passion for learning. For a better idea of what we mean, take a look at our Student Study Demo, which shows you what it's like for students who take courses like our Developing Effective Relationships with Children course

Visit us at, and you'll discover the many reasons why our students see ours as the best online courses around. 1-to-1 mentoring, 24/7 tutorial support, and extremely dynamic and intuitive course content are just a few of the factors that set us apart from our competitors.

However, if you'd prefer to speak with us directly about enrolment or anything else, call us at 1300 611 404 or email our team at [email protected], and we’ll be happy to assist in any way we can.

Study Our Developing Effective Relationships Course


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